Welcome to the Patchwork Blog! I hope you enjoy reading my random thoughts about life, Jesus and the freedom he offers.

Wednesday, 23 May 2012

Freedom from an eating disorder

I've recently discovered something that  I have been seeking for years. I have discovered freedom from my eating disorder. I used to be a compulsive over eater. I like that sentence so much I will say it again. I USED to be a compulsive over eater. There was a very strong link between my emotions and my appetite. I had an addiction to food. This means I am very overweight and suffer from some of the accompanying health problems.

But now I am free! The emotional link between my emotions and my eating has been completely broken by Father God. I have started to lose weight without trying. I just don't want to eat as much. I am eating plenty but not bingeing.

I still get thoughts in response to difficult emotions that say something like 'I need food' and I go into the kitchen but when I get there I just don't want to eat (unless it is a genuine meal time)  so I make a cup of tea and sit down with that! Its amazing.

The key for me was discovering the deep Father love of God.  I  was always scared before that if I let God take the overeating away 'what will fill that place'. I didn't trust God enough to fill the space left behind. But now I have been discovering more about His amazing Father love. And I suddenly knew I could cope without the eating. Father was enough. I asked someone at church to pray for me and it went. It did take a couple of weeks before I realised that it really had gone.   At first I was scared I would take it back again. But I didn't.

I used to stop over eating for weeks at a time before but in the end something would switch on or off (not sure which) in my head and the eating would start again. I could almost feel the switch go on. But the switch back to over eating simply hasn't switched back on again. It is off for good this time. I just know in my bones, deep inside that I am free.

For me the answer has totally been spiritual. I needed to know the deep Father love of God, the love that sent His son to die for us, and a love that He still longs to shower us with. Knowing that love meant I was no longer scared of being with out my eating disorder. An eating disorder becomes a friend, albeit a poor friend, a damaging friend. It is hard to let it go - it is part of you. But it is safe to let it go when we have God with us. I no longer have to say I am a compulsive over eater. I have a new identity - I am a child of the loving heavenly Father.

And talking of new identities. If you have an eating disorder, or if you know someone who has one, then check out the New ID course. It was doing the New ID course that taught me that  I needed a new identity. It taught me that freedom is possible. It took another 7 years to be finally free but I kept on seeking. I wouldn't give up the idea of complete freedom because of what I learnt on that course. Here is the link http://newid.org/

Freedom is possible. Don't give up seeking it. But seek the giver of the freedom - Father God rather than trying to seek the freedom itself - its a much quicker route!!

1 comment:

  1. Someone called 'stop binge eating' left a lovely comment which I wanted to publish. I pressed the wrong button by mistake and deleted it instead. If that was you, reader, please leave your lovely comment again so I can publish it this time. So sorry for my mistake.