On the winning side

My last two posts, Spiritual Battles and seeking the healer not the healing  have been about my being set free from my compulsive overeating. I am so pleased with the way this is going. The worst that has happened with my eating is making unwise choices when I am hungry. When I am  no longer hungry I stop eating even if it is chocolate. I am learning more to encourage myself in the Lord as King David of Israel did thousands of years ago. It is working.  I am still learning and only just beginning but I know now I am on the winning side!

Tonight I am feeling anxious about something. So I decided to sit down with a tin of biscuits to finish off my evening meal. Like a sort of test to see what would happen. Would I go back to overeating? The worst I could do was one bourbon and one custard cream. Given how much I used to put away this is NOTHING! I looked at the tin after my 2 biscuit pudding and didn't want any more. I put the tin back in the kitchen. Yesterday I was at a party, with a buffet. I only went up once. And yes I ate more than I would ordinarily but that is normal behaviour for anyone at a party. I am so pleased. It is about 4 or 5 months later and  I am slowly losing weight (very slowly) without trying. I feel almost normal around food! It feels like a miracle!

"Journey Home" painted by me on 5th August 2012

I feel like I am on the last leg of my journey home from the difficult time of being held captive by compulsive overeating. It feels wonderful, and exhilarating. Just to think that this time two years ago I was still locked into the pain and desolation of no longer believing in the existence of God. I have come so far in two years. God is faithful and loving. He is kind.

It's all part of my learning to allow God to be to me all that I long for. Home is a huge part of my desires. More on the idea journeying home on the next blog post.