I've found the website http://www.new.exchristian.net/ to be helpful during my confusion over the last year. People on the forum were helpful and understanding of my position. Today I read this article Getting God’s Self-Appointed Messengers Out of Your Head ~ ExChristian.Net . It was really helpful. I feel like I have so many different voices in my head. I don't know which is me and which is someone else's voice. At the end of the article Dr Valerie Tarico says " You may have to listen hard at first because of all the clamor. But if you can learn to identify the other speakers, eventually you will be able to tune in to the voice that is not theirs, but yours. " That gives me hope. If I give myself time I can work out which voice is which.