Temptations

Don't Fall

It is so easy to forget that we depend on Jesus, and the power of his Holy Spirit living within us to overcome the sin in our lives. Sometimes we start to be full of pride. We think we can do it on our own. Or worse we think we overcame the sin all by ourselves in the first place.

This last two weeks I have come as close to bingeing again as I have in the last two years - since God set me free from food addiction. Fortunately for me, I remembered the warning of St Paul from 1 Corinthians 10:12-13 about temptation and to be careful if we think we are strong - we could be headed for a fall. I realised where I was headed and sought the Lord again. I told Him straight what I was feeling. I told him exactly what I was thinking. I asked Him to help me. And He did. 

And I didn't have to screw up my eyes and work up the strength not to binge again. The strength came when I looked to Father God and was totally honest with Him about what was going on. I came to Him as I was. 

Lying to God

Sometimes it is not just ourselves we are lying to by saying we are strong when really it is God who is strong within us. It is God. We may not even know we are not being honest with God. We believe our own propaganda. We act in front of God as we wish we were rather than what we really are. We 'pretend' in the sight of God that we are strong and not tempted to sin again. But Father God is not fooled. He knows we are weak with human frailty "For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust." Psalm 103:14. Don't lie to God. He knows what is really going on deep down in our hearts. 

Openness with God

I have found that my greatest freedom comes when I come to God as I am, acknowledging all that is wrong with me. I come open handed and say I have nothing and need Him. I look to Him and allow Him to love me. It is all too easy to come to Him, tell Him we are sorry and then continue to try to break the sin in our own strength. For me the freedom comes when I surrender and yield myself to God - to allow His love to change me. His love changes us if we but allow Him to love us as we are. I spent many years trying to make myself worthy of His love. It doesn't work. You can not make yourself worthy of His love. You can only receive it. And it is in the receiving of His love that we are changed. 

Psalm 103 is a good Psalm to read - read it and come close to the God who loves you all the way to the cross of calvary.

Without Vision...

What is Vision? 

Keep your eyes on God, like a child
looking up at the heavens in wonder. 

I've been thinking about vision recently. What does it mean to have vision? How does having vision affect my life?  

According to Dictionary.com Vision is "the act or power of anticipating that which will or may come to be".

One of the questions I have had since Jesus freed me from food addiction is 'Why me?' Why did I find freedom? I am not more worthy than anyone else who would seek it. I am loved by my  heavenly Father but not more than anyone else than anyone else is loved by Him.

I think vision may be one reason. From early on in my search I could envisage a future where I was free one day.  I read the Scriptures and in particular the Gospels and I saw in them the descriptions of how Jesus set people free when he was on earth. I kept telling myself that if he could do it then he could do it now. After all are we not told by the writer of the letter to the Hebrews (Chap13 v8) 

"Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever. "

Stubbornness

There was a part of me that did not want to let go of the vision of Jesus being a healer. My dad often told me I was bloody-minded and stubborn when I refused to change my ideas and views. Maybe it is this quality that kept me seeking the freedom of God. If he healed then he could heal now. If Jesus really was God incarnate then setting me free of food addiction was well within his capabilities!  I didn't know how to find the freedom but I believed it was possible. I stubbornly kept on looking. I wasn't going to give up. 

I had vision. I could see that Jesus would do it one day and that made me keep on keeping on with my search when I was tempted to give up. I kept looking up to Jesus. I kept my eyes on Father God and who He is. 

Keeping on despite failure

Well, most of the time I did. I fell frequently and would start to look down at my own abilities and that was when I would fall over and fail. At one point I stopped looking at God completely. I stopped believing in Him for over a year. There were many reasons why that happened but once I came back to God I searched for Him. I put aside all else until I found Him. I was not prepared to let go of what I could see in my mind - that I would be free one day from the food addiction that had enslaved me. In the end freedom came when I searched for God, and God alone. My vision was for HIm alone and not what He could do for me. 

Habakkuk had vision. 

The verses in the picture at the top of the page from chapter 2 of Habakkuk  tell of him watching and waiting for God to fulfil the vision. He kept waiting and watching. And like Habakkuk I kept watching and waiting (in between my many falls) for God to act. 

Free at last

God did set me free. One day I finally trusted God enough to surrender the food addiction to Him. I trusted Him enough to be the comfort to me that food had been previously. 

I urge you to keep your eyes on God, on His Word. Keep your focus on Him and His relentless love. He loves you beyond what you can imagine. Keep looking up to Him. Keep seeking Him. Keep the vision alive in your mind and  heart. 

"But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you" Matthew 6:33