In praise of Martha

A week ago I posted about the story of Mary and Martha from Luke 10, Lord, don't you care...?. In response I had a tweet from @WorshipLeaderUK who quite rightly pointed out that Martha gets a bad press. And it is true, she does get a bad press. This tweet got me thinking more about Martha. A lot of what I am going to say here is based on  my knowledge of myself and  it is not a Biblical exegesis by a long shot!

As I said a week ago I have a tendency to be more like Martha than Mary. The tweet mentioned above got me thinking about why I am a Martha. What is going through my head as I do things rather than simply sitting at Jesus feet?

One thing I confess is the fact that I am a people pleaser. I like to please those around me. Now this is not always a good thing. I need to learn to listen to God and to work on pleasing him more often. But my Martha attitude isn't always based on that. It is also based on the fact that I care for people. I want them to be happy and fulfilled. I want to do things that bless them. I want often (but not always  - I'm not a saint!) to put their needs before my own.

I think Martha may have been in the kitchen preparing things out of a deep love for Jesus. She knew he would be hungry and she wanted to help meet his needs. I think she probably had the gift of empathy. She could easily imagine how tired he was, and she wanted to ease his tiredness, hunger and thirst. Jesus wanted to teach her about putting herself first sometimes. She needed to know that sometimes putting yourself first leads to good things for everyone. In this case both Mary and Martha would hear the words of Jesus they needed to.

But I also got to thinking this week about John 11. In it we read about how Mary & Martha's brother Lazarus dies, and is eventually raised back to life.  Martha seems to show more faith at this point. She says to Jesus  (paraphrased) 'Lord if you had been here my brother would not have died but even now I know God will give you what you ask for'. Mary tells Jesus she knows that Lazarus would not have died had he been there but doesn't go on to say what Martha does. Martha seems to show more faith here. Her thoughts take her a little way further towards believing for a miracle, although neither sister actually knows Lazarus will be raised until Jesus does it.

I'm learning to sit with Jesus and simply watch the sunset
sometimes. What about you? What steps can you take to
 spend more time with God?

I like to think that Martha's empathy kicks in here. She knows how Jesus loved Lazarus and she therefore finds it slightly easier to imagine what Jesus is feeling. Maybe that enables her to see how Jesus would want to do all he can for his friend.

If you are more of a Martha than a Mary I'd like to suggest you look honestly at all your good points. Take time to sit at Jesus' feet and allow him to show you how he loves you as you are, and to show you how he can use you as you step out in faith.

Deleted

Ahhhh, I was trying to use my new Nexus tablet to moderate a lovely comment from someone called 'Stop Binge Eating', but accidentally deleted it instead. If this is you please leave it again I didn't mean to delete it. The touch screen and I (with my clumsy big fingers) are on a learning curve together to get used to each other. The touch screen is not changing so I fear I must!

I have decided as a result to have a time with comments not being checked on any posts before they are left. If this proves to be an invitation to mega loads of spam then I will re think. But for now I would rather risk that then have someone think I didn't care about their (very kind in this instance) comment. 

Comments once deleted cannot be retrieved at all. They are gone for good I have now found out. This reminds me of our sin. When we come to the cross, to Jesus, and ask his forgiveness our sins are deleted. And they too cannot be retrieved. Gone for good! Amen. Isn't that good to know! 

If you are like me once you have taken your sin to the cross and is deleted you try to retrieve it every now and again. The true meaning of grace is that once it is gone it is really gone. It's like it never happened. One day I will get that into my head I hope and stop trying to retrieve forgiven sins. 

Lord, don't you care...?

I was listening this morning to a Liz Babbs meditation CD. This one is called Immerse. In it she was talking about Mary and Martha from Luke's gospel, chapter 10 (v 38-42). Here is the story from the King James Version of the Bible.

Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house.
And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus' feet, and heard his word.
But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me.
And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things:
But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.

I have always been a bit of a Martha person. If there is work to be done I want to do it now, get it out of the way then I can switch off. When I read this story I so sympathised with Martha. I saw it all from her point of view. Jesus should have told Mary to go and help Martha, I thought. Then they could all sit down and enjoy his company together afterwards.  I could always see why Martha says to Him, Lord, dost thou not care...  It all seemed most unfair to poor Martha. I couldn't see why Mary should sit and do nothing. It seemed to me that Jesus was favouring Mary, and treating Martha badly. 

As Liz spoke on the CD today though, I had a different picture in my mind. I could see the scene as Jesus would have liked it to happen. I believe now that he would have loved for Martha to join him and Mary. He would rather they all sat together, and that both Mary and Martha would have sat at his feet, just enjoying his presence and hanging on every word. Then at some point later in the day they would prepare the things that were necessary together.  Jesus wanted them both to sit and enjoy his presence first. Mary had priorised correctly, she had chosen Jesus above all else, above the social norms and pretensions of the day. She sat and drank in the presence of the Lord, immersed totally in all he said. 

Over the last few weeks I have been in a tough situation. Since Jesus released me from food addiction last year I no longer bury my emotions. I wrote about this last year in these posts, Emotions playing catch up, Spiritual Battles and Trusting in God's goodness and love. What has been tough is learning to feel difficult emotions. This has been a steep learning curve for me. It's been a tough year but I know I am learning. This have been rough recently but I am learning to spend time in God's presence just resting, and drinking in his presence as Mary did all those years ago. At times I am still worrying and fussing like Martha, but good friends sit and listen to me; they pray for me and remind me of the love of Jesus. Then I am gradually calmed again. I am glad I have had this tough time. If all had been lovely and rosy in Lynda's garden I would not have learnt these new vital skills. 

View from the window where I live. Wish I could take it with
 me when I leave (which I will be doing imminently)

Things that help me enter into God's presence are beautiful views, like the one in the picture to your left. It is the view from the window of the house I am currently staying in. I never tire of sitting in the window drinking in the view of the sun sinking into the sea (I'm not often awake enough to see it rise! ). I also listen a lot to Liz Babbs's mediation CD's. My favourite one is 'A quiet place'. I feel bathed in God's love afterwards. Sitting in the window listening  to that CD is such a blessing. 

I've switched sides. Now I want to be a Mary. I long to sit at His feet and drink in His presence. Oh, don't get me wrong. I still have my Martha moments. But I am learning and that is good. God is good! 

Being Known - Freedom from food addiction

Since writing the post below I have learned a lot about why I found freedom from food addiction. The post below talks about my identity as as a Christian being key to my finding freedom. But now I know that actually it is more specific than that.  It is coming to know more intimately my identity as a child of my Heavenly Father that I have found freedom. Jesus died on the cross to remove the barrier than stopped me having intimacy with Father God. So often I concentrate on Jesus and forget Father God.

I had an emptiness inside me that I tried to fill with food. But the hunger was never sated. It couldn't be because I wasn't really hungry for food. I was hungering for intimacy with Father God. 

And now I am learning to allow Father God to fill those empty spaces and the need to binge has gone. I had to let go of it but once I knew that love of Papa God I had the courage to do it. I knew the emptiness was being filled with something that would really fulfil me. 


To read more about my discovery of the Father Heart of God read my post, Discovering our Father's Heart on here or read the same post on More than Writers, (the blog of the Association of Christian Writers) for which I am regular contributor. 

******************************

Ashamed of Jesus?

I've had this thought floating in and out of my mind for a couple of months now. Am I ashamed of Jesus? If so why? Why don't I talk about him more to others more than I do? I can dress it up in spiritual language to myself. For example "I am waiting for the Holy Spirit to prompt me" or "I don't want to proselytize so I will keep quiet". I am guessing many Christians are like me and have moments when they could have said something and don't do so. I am sure I am not the only one who comes up with excuses like these ones.

Maybe I am a coward because if I am honest I think I am more concerned about what people think of me than I am about what God thinks of me. There is at heart a fear of rejection by people, even if they are complete strangers!  Jesus has very firm words to say on this subject. I should take heed of them. 

The sculpture depicting the Holy Trinity at
Holy Trinity Church, Hounslow, Middlesex UK
(You have to look carefully  to see the dove
between the Father and the Son.)

Mark 8: 34 - 38

Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul? If anyone is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in his Father’s glory with the holy angels.”

I want to start being bolder in letting folk know what I believe  And for those reading this who are not  Christians. Please don't worry that I am going to be a Bible basher taking every opportunity to tell people the  gospel in full whenever I can. I will be sensitive I hope but I do need to be firm as well in what I believe if the subject comes up. After all  the gospel I believe in is one of love, it is a gospel of how a God loved the world so much he sent his son to die for us. God does not condemn us, he accepts. He doesn't reject us. he longs to welcome us. 

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.  For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him." John 3:16-17

Jesus came to us from heaven, God himself came as a vulnerable baby who would grow up to die for the sins of the world. The least I can do is tell folk that when it is appropriate.

Please Father, give me boldness when it is appropriate to speak about  you to those who need to hear about you love and grace. Amen

Emotions playing catch up

My current state of being in limbo has been testing my faith and my relationship with God. But in this time of uncertainty there is also a great deal of learning.  One thing is coming to me more and more each day. I am learning that my emotions don't necessarily reflect what is going on in my mind. My emotions are up and down because I don't have a job, or money coming in and yet still have bills to pay. But my spirit is still sure that God loves me and He is good all the time. My emotions are just taking a while to catch up with this truth. I have spent so many years eating my emotions away with bingeing on sweet foods that I am new at all this feeling difficult emotions thing. I am having to learn to feel emotions well. I have to learn new ways of dealing with them.

I think I have a tendency still to see feeling any difficult emotions as a failure (funnily enough I only believe it is a failure in me - in others it is a perfectly acceptable and normal thing!). But it is normal given my current situation (i.e.who is living in temporary accommodation, with no money yet bills to pay, and a job that will not start for a few weeks) to feel emotional. It is a normal human response to uncertainty.

When all around me is uncertain I need to look at what is secure in my life. And this is where this post follows on from the last one. I know God loves me and has a plan for my life. I also know He is good and is working all things for good in my life. I have had a lot of words from Him saying He will speak to me and guide me. As in the last post, I need to keep my eyes focused on what is still, motionless and sure - the love God has for me, and His goodness.

I suffer from motion sickness and if I am a passenger in a car for too long I start to feel sick, especially if I am in the back seat. What helps is to look out of the front window with my eyes fixed on the road ahead as if I were driving the vehicle. It gives my brain an assurance of stability that stops the nausea from getting too bad (I never feel sick if I am driving). Gazing at God in times of turmoil has the same effect!

I know God wants to teach me about being focused on Him in times of turmoil and I pray I learn it well. I think my interim report from the Lord would probably say 'could do better'! However, it is said with love and a look in His eyes that is urging me on to deeper trust in Him.

I pray you will be able to do the same in your own times of turmoil.

Trusting in God's Goodness and Love

I've been working on how to trust God these last few weeks. It's been hard. I've been making the same mistake as I so often do. I have been confusing my feelings with trusting or having faith. I should have known better. I learned this and also wrote about it in my book, He Never Let Go, when I learned to believe once more in the existence of God as an act of my will, rather than waiting to feel this faith. 

Over the last few weeks I've been trying to squeeze out trust as a feeling and condemning myself when I feel afraid. I gave in my notice at work 5 1/2 weeks ago. As my job is residential it means in 2 1/2 weeks time I  not only have no job but I also have nowhere to live either. 

I allowed fear to get hold of me and I thought this meant I was unable to trust. Then I started to realise (again!) that trusting in God is an act of my will. I  decided that I can choose to trust him despite what is going on around me. But what am I basing this trust on? What is the foundation of this trust?
  

Abstract View of Bexhill Beach

I took the photo on the left on Bexhill beach a few weeks ago. I don't know why I took it. I was playing around with abstract ideas. I thought I would see if I could get all the posts lined up in the photo. I quite like the shot. I wish I had had my camera with me rather than just a mobile phone.

Looking at this photo now I remember to get the posts lined up I lined up the first two posts first. I changed my position until the first two were in line. And then because the posts were already in a line the rest just automatically fell into place. 



I realise now that there are two things I can base my trust in God on.

1. God is good all the time
2. God loves me more than anyone else ever will and proved it by dying for me.  

When I get these two things into line I find the trust comes much easier. It starts to fall into line. I chose to accept that God is good and He loves me. It makes trusting so much easier. I didn't feel the trust it was a choice I made as an act of my will. 

Earlier this week Bill Johnson put the following status on his Facebook page. "I will not sacrifice the idea that God is good on the altar of human reasoning in order to find an answer for what I don't understand or can't explain." (Bill Johnson).

I may not always know why I am going through hard times. I may not be able to find an answer for it but I can chose to believe that God is good and He loves me. 

Trust Him - it makes so much else fall into place. It makes life that much easier! A kind friend Dave texted me the following well known verses this week. It was so good to be reminded of them. 

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
⁶ in all your ways acknowledge him,    and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6